Family violence remains a major problem in New Zealand.
Protection order breaches
Many people continue to breach protection orders. Being served with a protection order encourages some to even greater violence, and domestic homicides continue to occur. Without a safety plan and support systems for the person under threat, a protection order is ‘just a piece of paper’.1 Used wisely, however, protection orders can be effective.
Getting help
While technology has extended the reach of abusers into victims’ lives, it can also be used to ask for help, with many websites providing advice for victims and their supporters. These websites can be accessed in ‘private’ or ‘incognito’ mode, which means the visit will not appear in the computer’s search history. Other websites have a ‘quick exit’ button which takes the user to a website that won’t raise suspicions.
If you need urgent help from the police but are afraid to speak, ring 111 and stay silent. The telephone operator will tell you what to do.
Barriers to escape
Many women do not apply for protection orders for the same reasons that they remain in abusive relationships: shame, dread of losing custody of their children, and above all else, fear. Not qualifying for legal aid may prevent some applying for a protection order. Lack of money limits options for women wanting to escape a violent situation and make a new life for themselves. Women in some ethnic and religious groups may be condemned rather than supported by their families and communities.
Whānau violence
Violence within whānau is a major concern in Māori communities. While family violence was apparently unknown before European settlement, Māori men are now five times as likely to commit homicide as men of other ethnicities. Māori intimate partner violence is frequently associated with poverty, poor housing, unemployment and marginalisation. This is an international trend among indigenous people.
Most of the women attending hospital emergency departments or Māori health providers after experiencing intimate partner violence have children living with them. Children’s exposure to violence among adults in their homes can lead to intergenerational transmission of family violence.
A response to whānau violence
In 2001 Māori health reformer Mason Durie wrote: 'There is no historical support for claims that traditional Mäori society tolerated violence and abuse towards children and women, or that some members of the group were of lesser value than others. An unsafe household demands a whänau response and, as an immediate priority, an assurance that safety can be provided – elsewhere if not at home. Then, safety guaranteed, the way is clear to embark on a journey which will relieve hurt, restore healthy relationships, and, in the process, strengthen personal and group identities.'2
Tikanga Māori-specific frameworks for understanding and addressing whānau violence have been developed and the inadequacies of mainstream Western approaches to family violence identified. Action in Māori communities to address whānau violence is not only directed towards keeping women and children safe, but also uses a kaupapa Māori (customary knowledge) approach to support mothers as parents of children who have been exposed to violence.
Interventions also focus on Māori working with Māori to change the behaviour of men who use violence or threats of violence to control family members. Men’s responsibility for the actions of other men is a major focus of stopping violence programmes among Māori.
Pacific Islands and immigrant women’s issues
Refuges and safe houses where people from their own communities support them have been established for Pacific Islands women. Immigrant women also face particular difficulties, including language problems and separation from family and culture. If their abuser is also the sponsor of their application for residence, they are especially vulnerable.
Shakti New Zealand was established to respond to the needs of immigrant women from Asia, Africa and the Middle East who experience intimate partner and family violence. It has campaigned to prevent forced and under-age marriages in New Zealand.
Outing violence
Recent research has highlighted the need to support people in sexually and gender-diverse relationships who experience intimate partner violence. Because they may have struggled to gain acceptance from others for their life choices, those who are sexually or gender diverse may be reluctant to talk about coercive control in their relationships. This may contribute to the invisibility of abuse in LGBT+, takatāpui and Rainbow relationships.
To find out more about experiences of unsafe relationships and issues with accessing support, 17 hui were held across the country with members of the Rainbow community. An anonymous survey was also distributed in 2015–16. Abuse was found to be present in relationships in this community, most frequently in the form of emotional, verbal and psychological abuse. There was little awareness of support services and an assumption that they were only available to cis (non-transgender) women. Sex-segregation of family violence services (only for women or men) was often an obstacle for those who did not identify with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.
Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura – Outing Violence was set up in 2015 as a hub for information and resources that could be used to improve response rates for Rainbow community members experiencing violence.
The New Zealand Crime and Victims Survey, which has been examining the experiences of crime throughout people’s lifetimes since 2018, has found people in LGBT+ communities are much more likely to experience sexual and intimate partner violence than the average New Zealand adult.
Tolerance for violence
A key issue is the entrenched belief of some people that violence is acceptable or excusable, and that current or former husbands/partners with a history of intimate partner violence can be good fathers. Family violence is not just the responsibility of the perpetrator. It has been suggested that ‘men’s violence against women is largely sustained by the way the community and the state collude with the abuser.’3 An example of this is the court-ordered name suppression that has been granted to prominent men convicted of assault.
Coercive control
There is increasing recognition that intimate partner violence is not confined to physical violence, but includes the use of psychological, economic and emotional violence to control or coerce a partner or former partner. The exercise of coercive control has been documented among couples using the Family Court to resolve issues relating to the custody of their children and access arrangements.
Contestation about children following separation can involve ongoing legal disputes which are both emotionally challenging and financially costly. There may be harassing texts or emails, stalking and actions that make a woman fearful about her safety. Legal documents that threaten to disrupt existing arrangements for the care of children and contain negative statements about their parenting may also be experienced as threatening.
Support agencies and organisations
A range of agencies provide counselling and support to enable victims to leave violent situations. These include women’s refuges and Shine (formerly Preventing Violence in the Home). Visitors to these organisations’ websites can access information about their services and then conceal the fact that they have accessed the site. Shine also provides information on creating safe workplaces for staff experiencing abuse. Support programmes introduced under the Domestic Violence Act 1995 provide information and assistance for protected persons and their children.
Why doesn’t he stop hurting her?
Many people who do not understand the complex nature of family violence ask, ‘Why doesn’t she just leave?’ But it is more to the point to ask, ‘Why doesn’t he stop hurting her?’
Family violence: It's not OK
This community-driven, government-supported campaign directed at changing violent and abusive behaviour in intimate relationships and families grew out of the Campaign for Action on Family Violence in 2007. It stresses that family violence is not OK, that seeking help is OK, and that it is also OK to help. The focus is not just on physical violence, but on the damaging effects of one person using power and fear to control another. A website provides information about what to do to support those suffering abuse.
The White Ribbon Campaign
The White Ribbon Campaign in New Zealand is a branch of a movement founded in Canada in 1991. It seeks to change men’s attitudes and behaviours through men taking responsibility for their own actions and those of other men. Men and women work together to challenge violent behaviour.
The White Ribbon Campaign began in New Zealand in 2004, and since 2006 has been funded by government agencies and other groups working to overcome violence against women. In 2014 it was taken over by the White Rainbow Trust. On 25 November, International Day for the Eradication of Violence Against Women, supporters wear white ribbons to show their support for non-violent and respectful relationships between intimate partners. White Ribbon runs workshops and publishes information directed at improving relationships between women and men and protecting children from the effects of violence in the home.